If my mind were a song, it would be “Spanish Key” by Miles Davis, on the album Bitches Brew. I’ve been listening to that album almost nonstop over the past week, in honor of the 40th anniversary of its release.

Craft beer maker Dogfish Head decided to honor it in its own way by creating their own Bitches Brew. Frankly, I’m surprised it took someone 40 years to make that jump.

You can read more about it at the Dogfish Head website. Planning to try some myself, but if someone gets to it first, drop me a line and let me know how it is. [via Selectism]

I am on the older end of a generation typically labeled Millennial. We are said to be a lot of things, but technologically savvy, politically left-leaning, and optimistic are some of the most frequently applied.

I bring this up because I was reading the other day an article in the Times called, “Save Us, Millennials.” Obviously you’ve heard by now that my type had a huge impact on getting President Obama elected, and the author is trying to urge us apply that same kind of passion to the problems of today. A worthwhile goal, I think.

As I was ruminating on this, it got me thinking about this blog, and many of the ideas about manhood I’ve shared. Of course it’s easy to point back to some kind of ethic of manhood that we’ve been missing, or say that there are certain ideals we’ve lost in the quest for equality. That is absolutely true. But for a moment, let’s forget about the past and think about the future.

Millennials are coming up. We’re entering the workforce. We’re becoming fathers (and mothers). It’s starting to hit me that my generation is becoming a generation with authority. We’re in a position to make a huge difference.

Not only that, but we’re finding a huge voice on the Web. A recent Sysomos study found that most bloggers are between the ages of 21-35 years old:

So what does that mean for the men of our generation? It means we have to decide who we want to be. I started this blog because I wanted to voice that a new generation of men were thinking differently about being men. That there are men out there that are thoughtful, stylish, generous, courteous. Men that are more than the typical media portrayal of men.

I truly believe the Millennial generation is on a path to becoming one of the most influential generations in a century for a number of reasons. But right now the media narrative around Millennials is still being formed. I can’t speak for everyone, but I want us to be remembered as the generation that stole manhood back from the douchebags and the man-boys.

So will the Millennial men please stand up?

Photo credit: bjornmeansbear

We were finally able to get away this Memorial Day weekend for a little excursion from Chicago. Since we have family in Wisconsin, we decided Miles would stay with them while Caroline and I had some time to ourselves (which we get little of these days).

We decided on Milwaukee, since it was pretty close to where we were dropping off Miles. We were especially looking forward to visiting the Art Museum, as we’d heard so many good things about it.

I have to admit that I’m pretty into the Art Institute of Chicago. I work not too far from it, and my favorite kind of lunch break is to wander over to its collections and hit refresh on my creativity. The recent Eggleston exhibit was a particular favorite of mine. It played no small part in my picking up a camera again.

So you can imagine that I was skeptical to visit another art museum, especially one as small as in Milwaukee (I mean, the AIC isn’t the Louvre, but it’s a pretty big place). You’ll be happy to know that Milwaukee did not disappoint.

To be honest, I found the collection itself to be only OK. My opinion may have been influenced by my love of the AIC. It’s hard to top it. But what makes the Milwaukee Art Museum special is the Quadracci Pavilion designed by Santiago Calatrava. The pavilion’s brise soliel is so beautiful it has gained international recognition.

Unfortunately I wasn’t able to get a good shot of the outside of the building, so this photo is courtesy of urbanfeel on Flickr. I think it gives you a clear picture of what makes this building special. It has an actual wingspan that opens to let in the sun, and closes at night or during bad weather.

Of course we did other things on our trip, but they mainly consisted of sleeping in, relaxing, reading, and generally recharging away from our little one. It was a great weekend all around, but the highlight was definitely the architecture at the museum. A few more photos of our entire trip are below.

PS, I should also give a shout out to a place we ate that was just fabulous. It was called Roots Restaurant & Cellar, and if you’re ever in Milwaukee looking for a great meal, great wine selection and a fantastic view of the city, I highly recommend it.

I’ve had several conversations lately with women about the role of chivalry in relationships. I ask the same questions: Is there still a place for chivalry in relationships today? What are your expectations, if any? What crosses the line from a respectful gesture to an insulting one?

I’ve gotten varied answers to these questions, but most seem to agree that there is still a place for a man to treat a woman differently than he would treat another man, especially in a romantic setting. From there, the waters get murkier.

For instance some seem to still like to have their car door opened for them, but others find this condescending. Some want to be treated as equals down to splitting dinner on a date, but others think a man should pay. Most want to be treated with a level of respect and kindness, but some want that only to be as much as the man would treat anyone else.

The murkiness here seems to be in part due to the aftermath of the Feminist revolution. Men don’t want to seem like they’re insulting women, so many intentionally shy away from any gestures that seem like they’re in any way condescending (to be fair, there are also plenty of men who don’t do them just because they’re unthoughtful idiots). I’ve also noticed that some women shy away from openly admitting they like gestures like this for fear of seeming like that weaker sex stereotype that Feminism rages against.

So in an attempt to get this conversation going between men and women, let me set out what I believe to be common ground here:

• Any special gestures a man does for a woman should be with an eye towards showing respect and appreciation for the woman (and the woman should give the man the benefit of the doubt that this is his motivation)
• Any gestures done should be in no way arrogant on the part of the man (e.g. ordering dinner for the woman without prompting)
• If a woman makes it clear that she finds something condescending, the man should cease and desist. However…
• The woman should make it clear to the man if she finds something condescending, and not expect him to be a mind reader.
• The decision about what a woman finds condescending and what she doesn’t is entirely up to her, and should be respected by the man.

With those ground rules in mind, what are the specifics?

Women: What would you like to see men do more of? Less of? Not at all? What do you find condescending and why?

Men: What have been your frustrations with reading women in this area? What do you usually try to do or not do?

And of course, from both sides: any horror stories of chivalry gone horribly wrong?

Stumbled upon this talk given by Brett McKay of the Art of Manliness, and I just had to share it. It does such a good job of summing up the new philosophy of manhood (the “Retrosexual”) that I’ve seen emerging in my generation. It’s a rebellion against Baby Boomer/Casual Friday culture; a return to an old ethic. Even the New York Times has recently reported on the shift in the workplace.

I think Brett does a great job here. It’s not about a return to sexism or bigotry, but about acknowledging that something’s been lacking in manhood over the past few decades. And it’s time to get it back.

One of the defining characteristics of modern manhood in America is a lack of identity. TEM is my humble attempt at reconciling part of this issue. For a more Chicken-Soup-for-the-Man’s-Soul route, try the new book The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood.

The book is a collection of essays from men of all walks of life, from Pulitzer Prize winners to NFL Hall of Famers to normal guys. Every story is meant to inspire, motivate, and center us around the idea of what we’re supposed to be as men. Sounds like a good read to me. [via Cool Material]

While not having the draw of a Cannes or a Venice, the Chicago International Film Festival has become an institution in its own right. Welcoming people from all over the world (a Chicago specialty, whether some people realize it or not), the festival opens today with Motherhood, an Uma Thurman movie that I am not the slightest bit interested in.

What I am interested in is Chicago Overcoat, a local production by a company founded by Columbia College students starring Frank Vincent of The Sopranos. I haven’t seen a decent mobster movie in years.

Also, Red Cliff. And Looking for Eric.

The festival runs until late October, so you have plenty of chances to get out there and get cultured. Do it.