Being human is never easy. But that’s the point. Perhaps as an unintended consequence of our relentless quest for more, bigger, faster, cheaper, now, we’ve comfortably acceded to something akin to a minor-league contempt for the richness and grandeur of life unquenchably meaningfully well lived. Hence, call this post my tiny statement of rebellion. Hex me with all the bland management jargon in the world, zap me with all the perfect theories and models you like, but I’ll never, ever accept the idea that triviality, mediocrity, and futility are appropriate goals for any human being, much less our grand, splintering systems of human organization.

I’m developing a serious man-crush on Umair Haque, author of the above book and internationally renowned thinker on management and economics. This quote is from a recent article he wrote for Harvard Business Review, called “Create a Meaningful Life Through Meaningful Work.”

Oh, and then he tweets stuff like this:

I’m at the mall. Tebowing.

— umair haque (@umairh) February 4, 2012

Guys, I get it. I really do.

You’ve been taught all your life to avoid “girly” things. People have told you to be “be a man,” and possibly made fun of you for doing something that appears feminine. You’ve been given an innate fear of weakness, beauty, and other qualities that have somehow become only associated with the fairer sex.

Maybe this led you to play a sport you didn’t really care about. Or pretend to like an action movie you thought was actually poorly produced. Or hide your love of things like poetry, or the “Real Housewives of Orange County.”

You’ve gravitated towards things like man aisles in grocery stores, or sites like The Art of Manliness, because they’ve supposedly made it easy to tell what a real man does – to differentiate yourself from feminine things. New shows like Man Up and Last Man Standing appeal to you for the same reasons.

Enter the new site Gentlemint, which does the same thing online. You’ve heard about Pinterest, the wildly popular online pinboard where people can “pin” images and videos to curated boards for everyone to see your interests. But you’ve also heard that Pinterest is dominated by women, so you’ve hesitated. And now Gentlemint has given you an option that will clearly say, “I’m a man!” Everyone wins, right?

Wrong.

Here’s why I’m going to advocate that you avoid things like Gentlemint. The first reason – the most important reason – is that those assholes in high school (who, let’s face it, may have included your own father) who advocated for you to “be a man” were telling you that because of their own insecurities. The anti-femininity (and thinly-veiled homophobia) that is rampant in locker rooms and around dinner tables in America is a moral failing that not enough parents – not enough fathers – have the courage to address.

We need to be better than this. Because right now, we’re intentionally creating intellectual and cultural ghettos from which men are incapable of escaping. We’re ceding the marketplace of ideas and innovation to women out of a fear of becoming like them – no, out of a fear that other men will perceive that we’ve become like them. And in the process, we’re making the very idea of men a caricature that no one can take seriously.

This is a small window into why some are declaring the end of men. The ghettos we’re creating extend beyond television and websites – they include professional tracks and education. (“You want to be a nurse? That’s a girls job!”) Fear is leading men to a permanent place of second-class citizenship. Sure, we’re not there yet. But I for one don’t want to see my son growing up in a world of shrinking opportunities for men created by our imaginations.

This is one of the reasons why I created FWD – I want to get the marketplace of ideas back. I want to make it OK for men to think big again. And I hope you’ll join me.

If you don’t have yourself a barber, get one. I’m pretty loyal to mine. That’s one reason I love this video.

The other is that it reminds me of people I grew up with. Plus it got nominated for an Emmy. Score.

[via Devour]

Fascinating history of Santa Claus, eh? Bet you didn’t know that Santa, St. Nick, and Father Christmas were all different people at one point? At least, I didn’t.

No matter what you celebrate at this time of year, happy holidays to you and yours. I’ll be taking a little hiatus around here until the new year, giving myself a much needed digital break. (I suggest you do the same).

See you in 2012.

[via ManMadeDIY]

Stumbled upon this really great art exhibition at the London Science museum called ‘Hidden Heroes.’ The exhibition celebrates the design genius of everyday objects – things we often overlook.

Watch the video. It’s fascinating.

Here’s to finding meaning in everyday life.

[via Selectism]

… at least, for little kids it still is. It’s been so fun sharing that experience all over again with Miles this year.

How’s your season going?

Feeling inspired after last night’s FWD event. Feel like joining us nuts for the next one?

[via Swiss Miss]

Serendipitously stumbled across this video series by men’s grooming brand The Motley last week. Billed as an “on-going conversation with men who create, explore, advocate and inspire,” the series looks at young men who are creating something new and pursuing their dreams.

Love the idea of highlighting men that are out there doing it. Check it out.

[originally via Finer Cut]

Recently, Doug French touched on an issue at the new Babble Dads site that I’ve been mentally tossing around for a while now. One that is very relevant to this blog, and in some ways is part of why it was started:

What does it mean to be a man?

Of course, “be a man” is something every guy hears at some point in their lives, which is why it’s funny (or perhaps sad) that so few of us have any clue about what that actually looks like. As Doug rightly points out, it starts as a set of cultural must-haves: smoke cigars, watch sports, chase women, etc. But this is a pretty shallow view of manliness, and most – emphasis on most - guys at some point realize that there has to be more to being a man than that.

Figuring out what that is, however, has not been easy. Most of the media portrayals of men either fall into this stereotype, using this bounded set of cultural markers as a guide, or characterize guys as overgrown man-boys who are absolutely clueless about what it means to “be a man.” (Recent exception: Will Arnett’s character on Up All Night. Check it out.)

There is some truth behind these portrayals. Because there are few cultural guides to take us men beyond the “be a man” checklist, it’s no wonder anyone who’s smart enough to want to move beyond it is still clueless about how to actually do it.

The few well-meaning individuals who have tried to help move the conversation about “being a man” forward have, in my opinion, in some cases done more harm than good. They’ve tried to expand the cultural bounded set to include other “manly” activities or endeavors, and in the process they’ve turned being a man into a cultural caricature, and ironically made it less likely that men will be taken seriously.

So what is to be done if we really are going to change the conversation? What does a man really look like? According to Doug, if you want to know what a real man looks like, start with fathers. Fathers are biologically and emotionally required to move beyond the old “be a man” bullshit, if we want to actually be in the day-to-day trenches with our kids. Everything else, including learning to parallel park like a man, takes the sidelines.

And I think he’s right. I’ve even seen this conversation shift happen for myself on this blog, which was always about processing what it meant to be a father, but started off with shallower checklist-type explorations and has become, hopefully, something much deeper. Having a kid gives you three-dimensional vision. Suddenly the world seems much more complicated, much more emotionally charged. And you experience a joy that smoking a good cigar could never bring. (And I happen to love a good cigar, so that’s a painful statement to make.)

This isn’t to say that all is lost for non-fathers. I think we just need a new model, a new conversation for men that is a little bit more creative. Pretty soon I’ll explore some of my ideas for this, but in the meantime, what’s your experience been like struggling (or not) with this concept of “being a man”?

I’ve never been a Black Friday person, but I understand the appeal. When you have a lot of people to shop for, saving money wherever you can is important. Understanding this, retailers have over the years pitted human against human on this mad dash to savings, opening at increasingly ungodly hours to let the madness begin earlier and earlier.

But this year, many are opening on Thursday evening instead of Friday morning – Thursday being Thanksgiving, the same day when you’re supposed to take time to be with your family and be thankful for what you have. And I think that’s going too far.

Here’s why: These retail stores employ what C-suite executives like to call “people.”

Thousands of them. And these people will have to cut their Thanksgiving holidays short in order to cater to the masses who want to get their holiday shopping done a few hours earlier than normal. Understandably, many are not happy about this. If stores open at 10, these employees will have to show up at 4 or 5, or even earlier. I’m all about capitalism and getting the economy going again, but this is just wrong.

Take it from someone whose mother has spent the last 20 years in retail. Many times I’ve watched her go to bed early on Thanksgiving because she had to get up at ungodly hours on Black Friday to prepare. The thought of her having to give up half of her Thanksgiving day just so someone can save $50 on a new flat screen TV pisses me off.

And this won’t stop with this year. Blame it on the ever-recession all you want, but if it’s a success, this will become the norm. Just like Black Friday and Cyber Monday have become staples of American society, Thanksgiving will disappear, to be replaced with Dealsgiving, the holiday where we get a four day weekend just to shop. Thanksgiving will be a relic from the past that we’ll have to explain to our grandchildren.

There’s a simple way to stop this madness: don’t go.

Don’t be lured away from your families by the appeal of slightly lower prices. Wait eight hours to begin the madness. If retailers see this as not being successful, or if the backlash of people saying “Enough!” gets plenty loud, then maybe we have a chance of stopping this thing. Or at least making a dent.

Because, really, you’re still going to buy your stuff, right? You’ll still stimulate the economy. Your loved ones still need gifts. But on Thanksgiving, they’d rather have your time.