Last week we had a semi-successful inspection on a house that we’re attempting to purchase. Which means that we’re mere weeks from being homeowners. (Crazy.)

We’re pretty excited about it, as this has been a less-than-fun process thus far. Why? This house marks the fifth house we’ve put an offer on, and the third we’ve been under contract for.

That’s right. Five offers. Three contracts. Which means we had two unsuccessful offers and two previous unsuccessful contracts. Not fun.

The two unsuccessful offers were the result of very inflexible sellers not coming to terms with the current value of their homes. (I mean, the market’s starting to get better, but let’s be realistic here. One seller wouldn’t come down on their asking price at all.)

The first house we were under contract for we were pretty excited about. It was a very nice little gut rehab with amazing finishes. But apparently nice finishes on a gut rehab should have been a warning to us. We were so naive.

Our inspector let us down easy, calling the house a “failed rehab” – or as he unaffectionately called it, a “Lindsay Lohan.”

The second house we were under contract for was an estate sale in a really great location. We called it our “project house,” because the previous homeowners had not left it in the best condition. But we thought it was manageable from what we could see, and trusted our inspector to flag what we couldn’t see. The price was great, so we thought we could put some money in it right away and put our mark on it. We thought we could make it our own.

But we didn’t get that far. Our attorney flagged to us right away that the taxes listed on the place were not accurate in the slightest. They were actually double what the listing said, due to many exemptions and a “senior freeze” on the taxes that the previous owners were enjoying. Needless to say, this brought the monthly payments way out of our comfort zone.

We tried renegotiating the price due to this new revelation, but we couldn’t come to another agreement. Another contract – and another few weeks – down the drain.

It should be noted here that this was around the same time we found out that our current landlords were going to be inflexible with us on our lease. We had hoped that they would go month-to-month with us for a little while on good faith – and the fact that we have been very good tenants for three years. But no. We were going to be homeless as of June 1.

Then finally – just in the nick of time – a couple of weeks ago we stumbled across this unassuming little house. It was in a decent location, and had almost everything we were looking for. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but no house is. But it felt like us.

And now here we are, past inspection. The furthest down the road we’ve ever been. And it’s starting to appropriately feel real. The Gardners are about to take a big life step.

We’re about to finally be homeowners. And I’m semi-freaking out.

How did you handle the transition to homeownership? Was your experience this crazy, or was it especially bad for us?

[Photo via ~Brenda-Starr~]

Pinterest is what all the cool kids are doing these days. No, seriously. I’ve been using it for a few months now, and am very addicted.

The concept is pretty simple. You find a photo or video of something online that you find inspiring. You pin it. Done.

You can choose your “pinboards” (categories, basically) and you can follow other people’s pins and pinboards. It’s great for discovery and inspiration. In that sense, I’d compare it to Tumblr, which I’ve used for years. But it also works well for planning. Believe me – I’ve had to un-follow many a wedding-themed pinboard recently.

If you check it out, feel free to give me a follow. And of course, let me know what you think in the comments.

Check out these sounds I captured today from the Edelman offices. Being on the 63rd floor can be creepy when it’s windy and storming outside.

Pretty used to it by now, but that doesn’t make it any less weird.

Last night was the inaugural FWD, which brought together a host of smart men from the Chicago area to have beers and good conversation. I had a great time. The overwhelming enthusiasm for FWD by the guys who attended – and by the plethora of guys who couldn’t attend but wanted to – makes me think that this little project may have struck a nerve.

(Speaking of which, I’m already making plans for the next one. Hold your calendars for Wednesday, December 7.)

The conversations between those guys went deeper than even I was expecting, which makes me excited about what this could become in the near future. And ultimately that’s what this should be about – the future. Current paradigms of manliness are antiquated and broken. We need new direction, and we need leaders who can push men in that direction.

Last night wasn’t the start of that paradigm shift. It’s already been happening in men all across the country. But we’ve all been doing it in a vacuum, with no good role models, no community – no forums for bouncing ideas off of others trying to do the same. Which is why the larger narrative doesn’t yet reflect the changes on the ground. But with FWD, I’m hoping we can bridge some of those gaps, and push that paradigm shift into overdrive.

What we need in the world of man is innovation. We need new ideas. We need to stop worrying about what sexual maneuvers or power tools will make us “real men,” and start thinking about what is going to make us better men.

Don’t live in Chicago, but want to be a part of the conversation? Like us on Facebook. Use the hashtag #FWDmen on Twitter to add to the conversation there. Then maybe one day, who knows, we can have a FWD event in your city.

Until then, keep an eye out. Something is growing.

Women now earn the majority of college degrees. Men play video games. Women thrive in information-age jobs. Men go to prison. Women hold families together. Men watch football.

This was the opening synopsis of a recent Slate/Intelligence Squared debate called “Are Men Finished?” Despite its overtly sexist overtones, the debate was based off of real trends in our society. For instance, it’s true that women are earning more college degrees, while men are feeling increasingly isolated from the workforce.

But there is also a subtle undercurrent of men from all walks of life pushing back against these stereotypes. Sometimes it is more obvious, sometimes it happens in the every day conversations between guys. But it is there. Not all men are OK with being “finished.”

A few weeks ago, I floated an idea. After having several concurrent conversations with different guys about the state of manhood, I realized that there are men of all walks of life that are discontent. We are discontent with the media narrative about men. We are discontent with the perception of men from Hollywood. But most of all, we are discontent with what those stereotypes are based off of – some truth, some fiction – and what they mean for the future of men, including our sons.

Enter FWD: a conversation with smart men about this very subject. Starting October 12.

Beginning with a small group of guys in the Chicago area, I’m hoping to shake up the current narrative. Like I outlined before, this will function like a cross between the Inklings and a TED conference, where there is a loose structure, but mainly ideas are thrown around to get creative juices flowing. The idea is mainly to get smart guys in the same room together and see what happens.

To me, FWD can fulfill a few needs:

1. Connection: Guys get to meet other like-minded guys, and good things happen.
2. Conversation: Barbershops and gentlemen’s clubs (the non-sketchy kind) are virtually a thing of the past. Most of the traditional bastions of male-bonding have disappeared. Let’s start another.
3. Reverberation: When a group of people passionate about something meet, people take notice. And that changes things.

The nice thing about this new project is that I can honestly say I have no expectations for the outcome. I’m happy with the enthusiasm people have shown for it so far, and I think it will be a great conversation on the 12th. If that’s all it ends up being, I’m OK with that. But I think together we have the potential to make a big splash, and show everyone that, despite the rhetoric, there are men out there who are moving the conversation forward. Let’s aim for that.

Registration is below. See you on the 12th.

There are many, many things that I love about fall, but apples are definitely high up on the list. I look forward to honeycrisps especially every year. Mmm, so good.

Every year we try to go apple picking ourselves. We’ll hopefully be able to get it on the agenda for this year, but in the meantime, another of our favorite rituals is to stop by the Lincoln Square Apple Fest.

They have apples in many forms. Cider, like above, or fritters, like below (which I think is kind of funny, because it takes something healthy like an apple and puts it in heart attack form).

This year they also had belgian waffles with apple compote and vanilla gelato. It was as good as it sounds. Miles especially loved the gelato.

The fun thing about Apple Fest is that in addition to the vendors, there is entertainment for the little ones – of which there were a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many strollers trying to navigate such a small area.

But even if they didn’t have the stage, it would have been entertaining for Miles. This kid is an explorer. He loves the hustle and bustle of things like this, and similar to the Craft Fair recently, he immediately wants to take off running and we have to reign him in.

But as much as we can, we encourage his exploration. It’s fun to watch him discovering the world, one pumpkin at a time.

What did you do this weekend?

This past weekend, we took a field trip out to Renegade Craft Fair, a yearly gathering of artists and artisans that descends upon Chicago. It was a bustling scene, full of more hipsters and wannabes than an Arcade Fire concert. But we had fun.

The Midwest has some amazing artists, and the selection of fun prints and crafts (and questionable fashion choices) was abundant. One fun surprise was finally getting to meet Meng Yang of Know Your Flag, who readers may remember from a fun little giveaway we did back in January. Here’s Meng standing beside some of his work:

What we really wanted from Renegade Craft was a fun handmade toy for Miles, but the kids selection was lacking. We did however find this great handmade humpback whale – an animal Miles has been obsessed with ever since he saw one get rescued on Go Diego Go.

Naturally, he was then obsessed with it and wouldn’t let out of his sight. For the next few hours at least.

I get a lot of comments when we go to these kinds of things about how hard it must be to have Miles there. And to some extent, the comments are fair. Of course it would be easier to browse and look at all the cool stuff if it was just the two of us, and we take that kind of time for each other regularly.

But at the same time, we don’t let having a kid hold us back from doing fun things. Instead, we make them fun together. Because in the end, having these people around all the time makes life… just that much better.

This past weekend was the start of a few big things. I can’t say what one is yet, so please forgive me for being vague. It’s a very personal, very painful project that has been haunting me for a while now, and this weekend, I finally committed to doing it. Even writing that is scary to me.

The other is something fun that I hope to plant the seeds of soon and watch it grow. And I think you guys will be excited about it.

In order to have the space to fully digest what needs to happen to move forward, I retreated to Milwaukee, or as I like to call it, mini-Chicago (sorry, Milwaukeeans). There’s nothing quite like spending an entire weekend by yourself to clear your head. If you haven’t tried it, please do. Highly recommended.

I spent the weekend writing, practicing for the aforementioned concert, sleeping, listening to jazz, writing, thinking, day-dreaming, taking photographs, reading Hemingway, planning, strategizing, and writing some more. (When your normal week is taken up by work and family, you really have to maximize alone time. Did I mention I was writing?)

The end result is a Caleb that is more focused, more sane – and with a bigger to-do list. But it’s a list that I’m excited about.

Now about that other project. Let me give you a taste.

For a while now I’ve been having several concurrent but scattered conversations with guys about their discontent with how men are perceived in the media. Obviously this is close to my heart, but I’m realizing that many other smart guys are thinking about this stuff as well.

What I want to do is bring these smart people together to talk about about how to move the conversation about men forward. I’m thinking of it as a cross between the Inklings (like those gents pictured above) and a TED conference, where there is a loose structure, but mainly ideas are thrown around to get creative juices flowing.

It will have to start with a small group of guys in Chicago (for now), and then see where it goes. At the beginning, it’s going to be invite only, so please let me know if you’re interested by sending me an email. I’m excited about where this could go, but even if it goes nowhere, it will still be nice to have intelligent conversations with some really smart guys.

Let me know what you think. Would love to hear your initial feedback.

Enough said. Check out the Dose Market website for more info.

A few weeks ago we were invited to a complimentary showing of Dot & Ziggy, a production of the Chicago Children’s Theatre in conjunction with the Seattle Children’s Theatre. I was told that the play was for toddlers. Needless to say, I was skeptical. Miles isn’t one to sit still for very long, and I didn’t know if this would be able to hold his attention.

The only kinds of plays I had ever been to were the ones where you sit in the audience and look onto the stage. Luckily, this wasn’t like that. Instead, Dot & Ziggy takes place in an open room where Dot and Ziggy (the characters in the play – who knew) can actually move around and interact with the kids. This made for a much more engaging experience.

However, this didn’t stop Miles from wanting to get up and move around with Dot and Ziggy. It drove him crazy that we wouldn’t let him chase down the various puppets and stage props that were featured. Eventually he settled though, and we all had a good time watching, singing the songs, and doing the dances. The audience participation was great.

As you can see from the photo above, Miles was very happy once we finally let him walk around and touch the puppets (which they wisely let the kids do after the show is over). In fact, you can see how she had to hold him back from attacking the spider. The spider was definitely his favorite.

If you’re in Chicago and have a toddler, I’d definitely recommend checking Dot & Ziggy out. We’re always in need of fun things to do with our little guy to get him out of the house, and this was definitely a fun, unique experience. Dot & Ziggy goes through June 26, so I’d get a move on.

[Disclosure: We were given free tickets to the play as part of a MomImpact event, but that in no way influenced my opinion of it. It was a good time overall.]