On a sunny and breezy fall day in October, my second son, Jack, was born.
A fast and frenzied labor and delivery that lasted less than five hours from broken water to delivery, Jack surprised us all. That morning, I was sitting in my office writing emails. By the afternoon, Miles was coming to visit his baby brother in the hospital.
The meeting was tense with anticipation. We had been talking Jack up for weeks, promising Miles that a little brother was on the way, assuring him that this was a good thing; that he was getting a partner in crime.
We think the idea of having a little brother appropriately penetrated the 3-year-old firewall. And he talked like he was excited about the arrival of baby Jack. But the implications of having said brother was another story, and we knew that Miles had no inkling of the paradigm shift that was to come.
He arrived at the hospital carrying flowers, an offering of love to his mother suggested by his grandfather. She pulled him into the hospital bed so he could get a close-up look at this mythical creature he had heard about for so many weeks. A big smile crossed his face.
Then he left Jack to go do other things that interested him. Like playing with the buttons on the hospital bed.
His interest has grown over the last few days, but we still think that he sees Jack as a novelty, the temporary obsession of parents that will soon turn their attention back to their first love. When the realization hits that this change is permanent, that this little guy is going to be a constant presence and a constant distraction for his mama, I expect the fireworks to start flying.
For now, we are content to enjoy the newborn honeymoon, when our first born enjoys helping take care of the second, and when our second can do no wrong (mainly because he sleeps 22 hours a day).
And that’s my life-changing week. How’s yours going?
Any of you have second children? How did the first adjust to the household shift?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Mazel tov to you! Not to scare you, but the first 5 or 6 months of having two kids was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Law school was a cake walk compared to that. The thing that you seemed to have realized very early on is that, for the older kid, it’s not just that you bring the baby home, the older sibling adjust and life goes on. Every time the baby hits a new milestone (crawling, walking, talking, destroying carefully built Lego creations) is another adjustment for the older sibling.
Ugh. That’s such a good point. The next few years are going to be… interesting.
Congratulations!
I don’t remember any fireworks when our second son arrived, 3 yrs after the first. But I was also in a drug induced fog for six weeks due to infection. My oldest seemed appropriately interested most of the time and somewhat helpful. He didn’t seem overly demanding or upset about sharing mommy. Five years later my two are the best of friends. They do almost everything together and play together well, with only the occasional minor argument. I realize how lucky I am.
That sounds great, Sarah. I can only hope for such an easy adjustment. I can’t wait for the years down the road when they play together, and I think Miles is looking forward to that as well.
Congratulations! And enjoy the honeymoon.
Thanks!
Oh, WONDERFUL news. Congratulations, friend.
Thanks, Karen. And congrats on your trip to Ethiopia. Loving the pictures and stories so far.