This week Caroline headed back to France for her cousin’s wedding, and Miles and I have gotten to have some quality time just the two of us. It’s been really great so far. That kid is a handful, but he’s so much fun.
But I have noticed something interesting. I’ve enjoyed Miles depending on me for a change. When Caroline’s around, she’s his default – which makes sense for his age, but can get frustrating when I want to spend time with him. But when she’s not around, I become the default. I become the most familiar person in the room. I become the one who he knows is going to take care of him. And I like it.
Sure, it can be tiring. This week so far has given me a glimpse of what it would be like to be a single parent, and although I think I could do it, I don’t know if I could do much else. I would be tired. All the time. So to all the single parents out there: much respect.
But there’s also something strangely comforting about knowing that there’s someone that you love more than life itself that depends on you for everything. And I like to think he’s comforted by knowing that I’m going to give him everything he needs (but not, unfortunately, everything he wants).
There’s a bond that forms between a parent and his or her child at this age, when providing for, entertaining and enjoying your child all meld into one, that makes me understand why it’s so hard for parents to watch their children grow up. Which is why I plan to soak up as much of him as I can – especially while I’m the default.
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This post touched me. As a person without kids, I imagine this is what I’ll feel when I do have a cutie lot of my own.
Thanks, Jessica. He’s a lot of emotions rolled in to a very small package.