Our Friday is for Females series ramps back up this week with Dysfunction Junction giving us her thoughts on what makes a man exceptional (and what doesn’t). Enjoy.–cg
The Exception to the Rule
When I volunteered to write this post I got super excited. I was sure that I had something earth-shattering to say about The Exceptional Man. That feeling lasted all of about 12 seconds. It was swiftly replaced by terror. Why? Because I realized that I wasn’t sure I really did have anything to say. I was plagued with questions.
Do I believe that the exceptional man exists?
Does trying to be the best man he can be make him exceptional?
Does one man have it all? Should women expect one man to have it all?
And so on and so forth. It got me thinking…
Obviously The Exceptional Man is not the same thing to all women; but I seemed to be incapable of identifying what IS The Exceptional Man. I thought, perhaps I could say what he’s not (at least to me anyway)?
First and foremost, he is not a liar. And I don’t mean that in a “tell the truth ALL the time” kind of way. Sometimes my ass will look fat, please just tell me it doesn’t. It’s more important that he’s not a bullshitter. I’ve spent way too long in crappy relationships where the man was bullshitting me. Where he was selling me on our happiness. If it’s not good, it’s not good. Be a man and own up to it. Because I’m probably thinking the same thing.
So this was a start. What else?
How about, do not be intolerant?
Again, I don’t mean this in a World Peace kind of way (though, frankly everyone should be tolerant of others). I mean this in an “I am a stubborn, insufferable ass most of the time. You should be able to hack it” kind of way.
In an “I purchase J.Crew ballet flats, much to the chagrin and detriment of my checking account” way.
In an “I have cranky, pissed off bowels most of the time.” Can you deal with that?
But that’s more about me. What about my questions?
Do I believe The Exceptional Man exists? In a word: no. I do believe that every man possesses characteristics of the Exceptional. But I would be kidding myself if I said yes, he exists. Men are human beings just as women are. And since I’m a woman, I know for a fact, that we are riddled with faults & shortcomings.
My preferences in those characteristics are simple & few. Ambition. Humor. Toss in my personal peccadilloes about nice teeth and J.Crew clothing and that pretty much wraps it up.
Ambition: I am not capable of being with you if you have no goals or aspirations. One of the things that attracted me to my Certain Gentleman was that he has these phenomenal goals and a plan of how to get there. Granted, the plan is a 20 year plan and that intimidates me, but it also proves my point. Ambition is sexy. Benchmarks are a turn on.
Humor: It’s not so much that The Exceptional Man has a specific sense of humor; but do we get each other’s sense of humor? I make stupid jokes in very poor taste sometimes. Do you find that funny? Do I find your odd etymological puns adorable?
My question about trying to be the best man he can be proves to be a bit stickier. On the one hand, noble efforts are laudable. On the other, I am the type of girl who doesn’t deal well with “a work in progress”. Yes, as time goes on, everyone grows, learns and changes. But do I want a puppy/boy that needs “obedience” training? No. I do not want that frat boy with the heart of gold. If you’re still getting wasted on Jäger during the work week and have deplorable table manners, I can’t do anything with you. Part of being with someone is going in public with them. If you can’t be around others without embarrassing the hell out of me, why would I date you?
So…what does this all mean???
Maybe it just means that I’m supposed to find the man who is Exceptional to me. That no man is perfect. Would anyone want someone who is perfect?
I don’t.
Dysfunction Junction likes to talk about herself and her neuroses (which she says are cuter than yours) at Dysfunction Junction and if that’s not enough for you, she Twitters endlessly @DysFuncJunc
Photo credit: lintmachine
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
LOVE THIS. i am so with you on the work in progress thing. i’m nearly 30; i’ve already done my share of Man Training. i have released several better-trained men back out into the dating pool by now; i expect that ones that come to me at this juncture have already experienced the same level of obedience training, darn it!
i hear re: work in progress. i feel as though i should have been funded from ’services to woman-kind’ or something for the lovers and friends we generously advise and instil with our wisdom about all things lady-related…
*dramatic sigh*