Every Friday we hear a different female blogger’s perspective on “What makes a man exceptional?” This Friday, Caitlin McCabe encourages us to stand out. Enjoy.–cg
There are a lot of great men out there. Leaders, speakers, cashiers, farmers, men doing any number of jobs in any number of cities that are really great. We know them by their accomplishments, their wardrobes, and their charming personalities. We date them, marry them, and befriend them. The list of characteristics that they have goes on and on and I’ve been hearing that list since I was 12 and trying to determine which ones I’d like to kiss.
The problem was, I didn’t and still don’t want to kiss a great man. I want an exceptional man.
And exceptional? That’s a little harder.
Exceptional is Bourbon in a room full of vodka and tonic. It’s Tim Burton after 10 Disney movies. Exceptional wears black tie when the invite says ‘casual’ and vice versa. Exceptional asks the question when everyone else is just thinking it. Exceptional welded the bike he rode in on. Exceptional isn’t just great, he’s different.
It’s tough to stand out and be exceptional if you don’t have interests to hang your hat on. Should you be in a 9-5 office job with a regular apartment and a regular car then seriously consider taking up jujitsu or something else to spice up a conversation. Bonus points if the hobby is really niche like furniture carving or orchid tending. Exceptional men are always interesting because they have interesting things going on. I once dated an artist whose work I totally didn’t understand but his quirky art and hobbies provided endless conversation.
Being genuine about those hobbies is really important too. An exceptional guy takes jujitsu because he thinks it’s cool, not because someone told him it’s cool.
An exceptional man is a good guy. Definitely. He has good manners and grooming and everything that goes along with it – but maybe he’s just a little bad boy too. The guy with a bank account in another country, a secret dive bar where he knows the pool shark (and beats him), a trick to get into a party which neither of you were invited to.
Or let’s say exceptional isn’t afraid. He’s not afraid to say “I’m going home because I’m tired” if he’s tired. He’s not afraid to show up in shoes that didn’t hit any “must wear” list yet. He’s not afraid of not looking cool which makes him, of course, undeniably cool.
Caitlin McCabe blogs over at Smile Like You Mean It and is into architecture, social media, and irreverence.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Man C-Mac is so big time now… she’s doing guest posts for Modite, you are guest posting on Smile… crazy times
Loved your article, very well articulated. I totally agree that having some sort of interesting or unique topic to discuss is worthwhile. That said if you aren’t passionate about it or can’t speak excitedly about whatever it is, don’t bother bringing it up. Or just get good at making harmless but pithy remarks so you can stay engaged somehow.
This also wanders close to Most Interesting Man in the World territory:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bc0WjTT0Ps
And your advice is almost exactly inverse of Least Interesting Man in the World territory:
http://www.xkcd.com/621/
Now this – advice for a person (a friend, really) to get there when talking with girls or guys in casual settings with strangers or vague acquaintances… I often see that the toughest part is just breaking the ice or getting over the initial awkwardness. What do you find are the most effective ways to open up the conversation into these areas where you might be able to talk about your interests and hold an engaging discussion?
PS, glad I found your blog. I am going straightaway to read the Mitsubishi Lancer review now