October 31, 1958: Grandpa and Grandma P. the night they eloped.
Every Friday we hear a different woman blogger’s perspective on “What makes a man exceptional?” This week Leah Pogliano thrills us with stories of tattoos and cherry farmers. Enjoy.–cg
I’ve been in long-term relationships, off and on, since the 3rd grade. My first relationship lasted two years, probably a world-record in elementary school, and only ended when a new boy moved to town. He had a perm and a leather watch, that sported the face of Michael Jordan, which he promptly gave me to win my heart.*
I’d like to think that weeding through qualities I like in my other half, since the age of 8, makes me an authority on the subject. In reality, it probably makes me an authority on what makes a man UN-exceptional.
I honestly can’t tell you what makes a man exceptional to every woman, but I can tell you that when I found my exceptional man, I almost missed out on him completely. The day I met my exceptional man, I had just ended things with a not nearly as exceptional man.
I was dating someone who considered himself to be “e-famous,” which meant he had over 2 million hits on a video on YouTube. (Take a few seconds here to be jealous. Now get over it, because he wasn’t the Chocolate Rain guy.)
He was everything I thought I wanted, good-looking, charming, and ultra-creative. It turned out that being charming in the virtual world does not translate into the ability to communicate in person, or even into the ability to be truthful.
When I met my truly exceptional man, he was everything I wasn’t looking for. In fact, I wasn’t looking at all. My heart was still sore, and I didn’t think anyone could heal it, especially not a farmer who went to a Big 10 school, wore combat boots and listened to classic rock… I almost didn’t even give him a chance to heal it because I went to an art school, listened to Indie Rock, wore only Steve Madden shoes, and also grew up on a farm that I never planned on going back to.
Boy, am I glad I did.
I soon found out that it wasn’t flowers, candy, or songs, poetry and vlogs dedicated to me (although, those are all nice), that were important. The most important qualities turned out to be the ones my grandmother told me to look for, which I had been choosing to ignore. They’re the qualities that my exceptional man has had since day one and hasn’t lost as our relationship has progressed.
Grandma P. says a man should:
Be hard-working: My grandfather is almost 80 years old and still runs an 800-acre ranch with over 1000 head of cattle. The passion that he’s put into his work, he puts into the relationship he has with my grandmother, and I’ve lucked out to find someone with the same mentality, both in his career and our relationship.
Have a good heart: The same love and respect my exceptional man shows me, he shows to everyone he values, going above and beyond to make them feel important and special. He even texts some of his closest friends randomly with compliments, like “You’re #1!” And, the best part is, his acts of kindness are GENUINE.
Be dedicated: My grandfather pursued my grandmother for a whole year until she finally agreed to go on a date with him. For the entire first year and a half of our relationship, my exceptional man drove back and forth from Michigan to Chicago almost every weekend, even if it meant only spending a day or two together at a time.
Have a strong jaw line: Okay, my grandmother didn’t tell me to look for this, but I’m allowed to be a little shallow, aren’t I? A chin that makes a guy look like Hercules could be the lead pipe to my Olympic-medal-winning kneecaps.
Another plus is that dating a cherry farmer gave meaning to my cherry tattoo. Or maybe that’s fate? I like to think it’s a little bit of both. (If you’re judging me right now, keep in mind that I got the tattoo when I was 18, and I bet there’s at least one person in your circle of friends with a butterfly tattoo that she isn’t too proud of either!)
I guess if you take anything away from this post, you should take this: Everyone’s exceptional man is different. The point is, whether he’s showering you with gifts and flashy nights out on the town, impressing you with his curly hair and Michael Jordan watch, OR he’s someone who gives meaning to your tattoos, saving you massive amounts of money on laser removal (thank you!), your exceptional man should fit you, and no one else…except maybe your grandmother.
*It should be noted: I’m much less easily swayed by gifts now that I’m an adult, especially gifts I have to give back because they actually belong to somebody’s dad.
Leah Pogliano is a freelance advertising and marketing copywriter living in Chicago, IL. If you like what you’ve read here, visit her blog Bitemarks for her views on everything from electric toothbrushes to being an indoor kid.
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Hey Leah. I could say that I loved this post…but mostly I’m a little mad that you got that Chocolate Rain song stuck in my head. Again. It had been years.
Otherwise…go on with your bad self — and that cherry tattoo.